I will trust in the Lord...

When I was young I lived in a small country town and loved it. However, when it came to high school, doctors or hospital visits it was in a town from between 20 minutes or more away. My mum lived a couple of hours from us and had to send things to us if she had them to give. My dad would have to travel to drop us off to mums and to pick us up. These things in and of themselves are not a problem, however in the midst of all of this I learned a habit that until yesterday I did not realise was still with me.

The problem was not in the distance, yet in the disappointments. We learned that when mum said she was sending us something, it could well mean she was desiring to, but it may or may not manifest. When I would be in hospital waiting for a visit, or waiting to be picked up, it more than likely would mean it would happen at the latest possible moment. If dad was dropping us of or picking us up there would inevitably be a delay of some time. Not deliberate on any of their parts, just was. In all of that I learned to listen to what was said, and then some time between the hearing and the receiving I would lose all confidence in those things being made manifest as spoken. I never stopped loving them through it, yet there was a distance because of it.

When I first met Jesus the Lord showed me some of the things that would come to pass in my life. He would grant me visions and dreams with understanding. I knew what I was called to do and to be. No questions asked, just full on believed. I then had some people that gave themselves the title of prophet speak things I just flat knew were not right and I became sceptical when most people spoke, knowing they lacked spirit. Then I became involved more and more with people I know to walk after the leading of the Lord, those that feel after the spirit and those I fully believe I can trust. As the past three years especially have progressed, time and again the same things would be spoken by people who do not in any way know each other. I praised God, rejoiced and thanked God for His promises in and for my life.

These things in and of themselves are not a problem. (I'm chuckling). I have found myself so many times sitting here bemoaning, whining, questioning, are these things really coming to pass, when will they, have I missed it, what if I was wrong, what have I dont wrong, have I messed all the plans up... yada yada yada yada yada. I have found my 'confidence' in the things spoken some days lacking. The world says 'well thats normal', we all go through that. Well yeh, we do. No matter how we sugar coat, butter up or dress it, lack of confidence is doubt, doubt is disbelief, disbelief is lack of trust. And that in and of itself is a huge problem.

I have let people down, our families, friends, neighbours, pastors, children, enemies and so on all at some time do things that they ought not, or do not the things they ought. It happens, and if it didnt Jesus returned and I missed it. We can choose to allow that to shape our thought process, action, conversations and convictions or we can choose to grow up get up and go on. One thing I KNOW that I KNOW, is that with God when HE speaks it, there is no let down. He need not repent, for He has never lied. Not one time, ever. The problem is not in that which is spoken, it lies in the expectation. We are used to instant gratification. Its time to lay this aside for trust, and for wisdom. God does know what He is doing. HalleluYah. I will trust in the Lord.