Apologies...

Hey there. I am in Mobile Alabama and loving it.

God has been good to me. I have, however, forgotten to keep up with my blog. That is the same reason I do not journal. I forget.

In the not too distant future I will be adding some short videos on various biblical topics. I will endeavour to post these with the scriptures in tact, or at least a written copy to go with it.

Also if you have a ministry or have things you wish to share with others around the world. You may be interested in this site. A short video email I put together to give you an idea what my Pastor uses at the church where I am now. http://210359.myvideotalkstudio.com/videomail/player/mid/492901/tid/23747/cid/10601/uid/115186/fid/101090

I bless you in the name of Jesus.

Amanda

Perishing is a process...

In preparation for my upcoming trip I have been taking stock of the things in and around my house. When I look at the things around me I began to look at the things that have grown old, like I am, and how their usefulness has been lost or severely maimed in some ways. The thing I noticed most was a large rubber mat for the back of the ute, and the tyres on the kidlings bikes and on my old Leyland moke. Then some of the metal structures on the bikes, the wheel barrow and moke. The rubber has perished, become dry, developed cracks, one even having a split right through. The steel has developed rust marks, some things I noticed are developing some holes which are meaning I will be in need of replacing them, or throwing them away. What I found interesting was some of those things were under cover, I thought protected, yet still are perishing. Bit by bit, day by day, neglect and circumstances have taken their toll.

The following scripture has been so much on my heart and mind this week. Today some things really dawned on me...

Just as the things I looked at around me did not get in the state they are overnight. Neither do those around us when they are on the way to perishing...

2Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

Perish meaning ~ To die or be destroyed by violence or privation.

Privation meaning ~ Lack of the usual comforts or necessaries of life.

Knowing it is not God's desire that any should perish backs up the reason HE has granted what it will take that we should have life and that abundantly. The aspect I am most interested in today is the spiritual provision and thus well being of His people. After all it is our spiritual status upon meeting Jesus that will determine whether or not we have made the grade.

Today I want to encourage you to look around you, and maybe at where you are now and have been in times past. I believe every one that strives to live for God has as some time found themselves dry and weathered, beaten, battered and abandoned, overlooked, under used and under utilized, wore out and overwhelmed. These things in the mental, emotional and spiritual leat to the beginings of the process of 'perishing'.

That is why we have each other. To embrace, lean on, polish up, tear down, work over, pick up, wipe the tears, and apply some balm to the dry and cracking places. That includes of our spouses, children, family, neighbours, friends, fellow labourers, pastors, ministers, and the lost and dying on the streets. The anointing, the power, presence, knowledge, revelation, wisdom and understanding that comes with God. The gifts, the provisions, the blessings that come from God. The hands, feet, voice, body, and expression that are us are all a blessing to you to share with others in the fullness of whatever capacity you can.

We are so used to avoiding each other, because too often we avoid looking at ourselves, to see the signs of a process that could lead to destruction. Back sliding, break down, and the silent dying of those around has signs. If you cant see it in the natural look for it in the spiritual. You may be the difference to a renewing unto another that saves them from potentially being thrown out of God's kingdom.

Just as rust leaves a mark, and tyres show the cracks. So do blemishes and wounds in the people of God and those in the world... The littlest touch could be all it takes, a renewed covering, a little care... Unlike Cain we are our brothers keeper...

Ephesians 6:18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.

I bless you in the name of Jesus

.

Our gifts...

The following are the words that were on my heart today as I shared with someone. As I contemplated these words, other people began to come to mind and I also shared with them. I feel to post on my blog. I pray in sharing here that it would bless you in some way...

Sometimes things are not the way you would like them to be. The promises of God are not yet manifest. Too often the feeling of being a million miles from God and His ways...

The greatest weapon you have is your praise, the greatest gift is your brokenness, the greatest possession is your desire, the greatest force your love for God

In your praise you will know and see and feel and witness the presence and move of God

In your brokenness you will know healing, wholeness, hope, growth, renewing, refreshing and increase in wisdom, knowledge, revelation and understanding

In your desire for God you will continue to strive for Him, to allow change, to embrace the new, to encourage, edify, uplift and minister to others, to seek God that you be all you were created to be and called to do

In your love for God, you will keep the other three.

Jesus bless you richly...

As a grown up I learned...

I was sharing with a precious friend today and decided to blog the things we discussed. I will try to keep it short...

I remember learning as a child the 'violent', 'domineering' and 'agressive' side of parenting, I also learned very well that my worth or value came from what I did well or did not do well. I learned that when I was 'good' in the eyes of the authorities in my life all was well and when I was 'bad' then I could very well die. As with many that grew up like that it took me a long time as an adult to stop seeking validation from those around me. I was blessed with two sons and a daughter, and my eldest son remembers well how hard I was when he was little. I had become my mother, my aunt, my cousin, my primary school principal... I found bits of each of them in my mode of 'being a grown up' in authority.

I thank God for first realising I needed help long before I knew Jesus, yet aware it was His leading me. 15 years ago God began the process of healing in me, for me. Bit by bit as I was healed and began to grow up, I learned many things which not only changed my life, yet also the life of my childre and my parents. The following are things I have learned and the impact is nothing less than monumental. I pray in some way you may be blessed, challenged or encouraged to know there is a better way...

1/ That everything I do or say is my choice. No one ever makes me say or do anything I have not chosen to do. Chosing to go to pieces and 'react' totally irationally and over the top is still something I chose to do. Maybe the only choice I realise exists, still a choice. It is about being healed and learning to 'act' instead of reacting.

2/ When I feel I am going to 'lose control' it is exactly the opposite which is reality. This happens when the realisation hits that I never had 'control' in the first place, and it is my right, my due and my responsibility to have it. Thus like a banty rooster in a big red rooster crowd the flesh rises up to look as intimidating and threatening as possible. The bantum will stand as tall as possible, get as loud as possible, fluff up to look as big as possible, and get in a place looking down on others to look bigger. When the decision is made to do this, and it doesnt work, the so called 'logical' conclusion is try whooping down that which refuses your control. The desire for dominance says, the 'it' has to be dominated by any means possible.

3/ That I had to do everything myself otherwise it would not be done right and perfectly by anyone else. O and to make as much noise about how much I 'had' to do. Then I learned I was to teach. Teach my daughter how to be the woman and my sons how to be the men they were created to be. I was stealing this from them. I began to teach. My sons and daughter cook, sew, clean, iron and maintain their own space.

I remember that first day when God told me to stop stealing the manhood from my sons. I wept, repented and got up. I went out to my car, called my 13yo son and handed him the keys. I got him to park it where I had always done the oil changes. I handed him the new oil filter, the oil, the tools and then showed and explained how it was done. He said he had it. Against everything in me, I walked inside, turned the music up and stressed. haha. After about an hour and some more he came in through the back door. Casually I greeted him. He was beaming from ear to ear, stood about a foot taller than normal, and there was a light in his eyes I had not seen in a long time. I felt so good I went to my room and cried, for the first time I realised I was teaching my sons and daughter to be as gender confused as the world around them. I also realised I had the ability to do something about it.

4/ Having suffered depression for years, I was no housekeeper to say the least. I would meet people at the front of my house and only on the rare occassions when I had 'the house' under control did I invite people in. I loved a clean house, just didn't have one ounce of motivation, energy nor desire to do it. Then I would look at it and be so overwhelmed that it just added to my lethargy. Where would I start, how on earth would I ever tackle 'that mess'? It was like that when my children were told to clean their rooms, they would fuss, argue and we would fight.

One day, a wise friend said, 'this is not something to look at the big picture'. Do it one thing at a time. I thought about it. I looked at the lounge room (living room with no accent), looked at my children that I had called to my side and talked to them. We each agreed to pick up 3 things each and put them where they belonged. We laughed and joked and went to see who could do theirs first. We came back and each found 3 more items, they in turn found their place. 8 minutes and the lounge room was literally clean and tidy ready to be vaccuumed. Next was their rooms. The older ones did ten things, my daughter 5 (she could count to five properly). Some days we timed how long it took them to do their ten. Some times it was 3 lots and a biscuit (cookie) or fruit. It worked. This has become part of my nature more and more. When I forget (chase squirrels) to keep on top of things this process of Items not big picture still helps.

I had a lady share a little of her life, and her childhood. Her mother told her 'You can't do anything about being poor. You can do something about being a unclean'. Words well spoken.

5/ I learned to use the word AND instead of BUT when dealing with my children. The word 'but' negates or cancels everything said before it in the ears and mind of the hearer. The word and includes both. 'I love you but you broke that vase' and they hear 'You broke the vase, I dont love you any more'. 'I love you but you made a huge mess' and they hear 'you made a huge mess, no more love'. 'I love you but your always late' and so on. The examples are endless. When we us and, it becomes an encouragement not a rejection. 'I love you and you broke my vase which was not good'. The action and the value have been separated. 'I missed you and your late again' separates action from person and gives motivation for change. Constant negativity breeds greater distances in relationships.

Last but not least...
6/ I taught my children to yell. They disobeyed or ignored, I yelled. Then yelled at them for yelling at me. Whats with that... One day, ooooo and it was soooooooooooooooo hard. I stopped and looked at them and said I am choosing not to yell any more. In this house we 'speak in a normal voice'. To get my attention or their own way they would yell, whine, moan, or half cry half talk, to which I calmly said 'when you want to talk to me in a normal voice I will be able to understand you and we can work out what needs done'. Ignoring them was the hardest thing ever to start with. They tried me soooo hard. LOL, but the first time I yelled they were so fast to use it on me. Together we learned the art of conversation and of respect. Still brings tears to my eyes. We find we can literally talk about anything.

To those that persevered to the end of this, and I apologise its so long, I thank you.

God bless you richly.

Not saved from hell...

I am increasingly alarmed at the fast moving and yet insidious teaching that 'now is the time to be saved from hell'. I have heard so many times this past 6 months or more of how 'God is saving people from hell every day', 'Another soul pulled from the gates of hell', 'Another one God pulled from the brink of hell today'....

In short that is a lie, straight from the pitts of hell and both catholic and baptist doctrine. It is eating up the air time of far too many Apostolics/Pentecostals in far too many countries. It is (as many traditional untruthful teachings), that which was heard, sounds good and thus repeated. It remains both unbiblical and unsound.

In long, I will explain...
God's desire, determination, intention and destination was never to save people from hell. Whilst tradition teaches hell is the great separation from God, God said different. Psalms 139:7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? :8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. While hell is real, it never did and never will separate us from God, and He did not say he would come save us there. He will be there anyway as it is part of His territory.

Transgression separates us from God, sin hides His face from us that He will not hear (Isaiah 59:2). Lets define Sin... It is breaking or transgressing the law of God, which the bible says is the ten commandments (1John 3:4). Sin is an archery term defining by how much you miss the target. When the arrow was shot, someone would check where it landed and call back to the archer you sinned by this much in this direction. It was to allow the archer to readjust and fire at the target again hoping this time to hit the bullseye. For us, the target is to uphold or keep the law of God, striving to hit that bullseye, and learning how far we have sinned so that we may readjust, regroup, realign and strive again.

Lets define transgression... It is a total disregard for the fact that there is a target. It says I will shoot where I will, when I will, how I will, and in this I will not miss the target because I was not aiming at it. It has such blatant disregard that it chooses random targets, random firing ranges and takes no heed for what is in its line of fire. Both Sin and Transgression lead to the same result, missing Gods set target for people. Those that profess to love Him and those that do not. Denying or ignoring the target doesnt change the penalty from a just God.

In the old testament there are multiple examples (look and you will find them) of sacrifices made to bridge the gap between God and man. Those sacrifices were never known as hell offering, they did not remove hell from ones life. They were Sin offerings, to remove the death of sin from the lives of God's people. Jesus (God in the flesh) came for the same purpose, for the saving of His people from their sins (Matthew 1:21). For the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23).

Job 10:14 If I sin, then thou markest me, and thou wilt not acquit me from mine iniquity (Iniquity meaning nothingness, trouble, wickedness, affliction). The reason we obey the gospel is because we break any one of the ten commandments listed in the law of God. We sin. In order: We repent... of our breaking the law of God. We are baptised for the remission of our sins to wash away that mark which blemishes us. We receive the gift of the Holy Spirit/Holy Ghost by which God writes His law on our hearts and minds that we will be ever mindful of them (Hebrews 10:16), and HE will be our God and we shall be His people (Jeremiah 31:33).

IF when Jesus returns we are found with unremitted sins, and are separated as goats, hell is the final destination...

If there were no law, there would be no sin. If you want to discuss this further, please feel free to email me.... ajsfound@gmail.com

God bless you.

I will when...

As a parent I would love to have $50 for every time I have heard the phrases using the words 'I will when.....'. As soon as it was something they did not want to do, this phrase gave them space to feel justified in their rebellion. Guys, clean your room, 'I will when I have more time, Im playing'; Pick up your act and improve your grades, do your homework, 'I will when Im smarter'; Dont pick on your little sister, you need to protect her 'I will when we are bigger'; help do the law, the dishes, save your money, give something to someone else.... etc etc etc.... Each time when they had more, were more, received more, owned more, it was always I need more before. Thing I found, the distractions grew with the kidlings. The issues grew, the rebellion grew, the mess grew, the habits grew....

Many of you laugh because this is so true. Its a good thing we don't owe God $50 for each time we say it to Him.

Go spend time with someone hurting, dying, outcast, socially not accepted, brilliant, poor or whatever ever... Lord when I have more time I will. God only made a day as long as it is. We can make time to do the things we want to do, no excuse needed.

God give a meal to someone, clothing, shoes, materials, an appliance, a car... God if I had a little extra, or another I would, I might need that in case the one I am using stops working.

Go give that mother a hand with the babies while she shops, while she mows, while she cleans house, while she prepares the meal, while she goes out for once... God if I had an extra hand, extra day, extra help with what I have to do I would, but I had to cope on my own.

Go give that person $5. $10. $50. $100. $500... God is that really you??? You know my heart Lord, you know I would give if I had it, you know I would help if I could, you know I would bless them if I wasnt saving for that other thing I need. God you know I will give when I am rich.

The thing is this...
The more time you feel you have at your disposal, simply makes you more disposed to do more of what you already did.
The more posessions you lay hold of and keep, simply gives you a greater desire to do just that.
The more help you get and spare days you find the more you spend doing the things you were striving to do, for you.
The more money you get, simply makes you more of what you were. If you ate big, you eat bigger; if you shopped lots, you shop bigger; if you save when you have little, you will save more; if you wasted you will waste bigger.
If your a giver, the more you have, get, receive, achieve and created, the more you will give.

I will share this. I was having trouble with my weight and using it as an excuse (regardless of how I would have sugar coated it) for the reason I couldnt go and do and be all God created, called and asked of me to be and do. I was sharing with someone one day saying 'If you wont give when your poor you wont give when your rich'. As quick as a flash the Lord spoke to my spirit and said 'If you wont obey me when your fat, you wont when your skinny'.

Hit me like a truck, what about you??

Magnified by God...

This week has been super phenomenally WOW. God has blessed me with greater wisdom and understanding that has not only changed me, but my world. Thank you Jesus for YOU!!!

There are many blog posts backed up here on bits of paper, one day I will add them. Today I want to share the following videos and pray you be blessed. I was aiming at a short explanation of what God showed me... good luck with that.... I had to split it into three parts each not so long.

I want you to know God sees you, has magnified you and has set His heart upon you. That is why He does what He does in you, for you, with you, and through you. Enjoy Jesus

Jesus bless you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWKkyxictxA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ai95XznV-qU&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgEliGcYs9I&feature=related

TLA's, FLA's, Abbv's and and and...

We live in a world today that thrives on changing things. Australians are renowned for nick names. We are also renowned for using terms opposite to what is, to over exaggerate and be sarcastic. We are not the only ones, people of every nation have the same tendency, maybe to different extent, but we still can. We are part of a society or generation that is thriving on using TLA's, FLA's and Abbv's and proxy's. Which tends to drive me nutts. So you know TLA's are Three letter acronyms, using the first letter of words to describe it. FLA's are four or five letter acronyms. If you google the word 'acronym' there comes a list... Acronym generator; list; maker; dictionary; definition; search; solver; and also includes acronyms Australia. Abbv's are abbreviations. Too many things these days get abbreviated. This is not necessarily a problem in itself, however it becomes one when the meanings are abbreviated along with the word. And proxy's are words used in place of another, not changing the meaning to those that 'know' exactly what your talking about.

As I showered thismorning this came to me along with the following....

It does not matter how you look at it GOD is NOT a TLA for anything you want to make Him. He is who He is and nothing and no one can nor will change that.

LORD, JESUS and God are not abbreviations nor proxy's for every other cuss word you dont really want to be heard speaking. They are terms of reverrance or the name of the Creator, owner, judge and redeemer of all.

Christian is not a proxy term for hiding behind every manner of other occupation, habit, sin and behaviour or speach you should like to excuse or elevate. It is not something that describes us but is to be that which defines us.

Hope is not an abbreviation of hopeless. We all have hope through Jesus.

Sin is not an acronym nor an abbreviation for anything. It is what we do when we break any one of the ten commandments, or the law of God.

Love is not a proxy for any manner of behaviour, attitude or verbage substituted for belittling, abusing, neglecting, worshipping, idolising, nor sinning with anyone at all. Love is a gift, granted to us by God, holy, perfect, honourable, bringing forth righteousness, peace, joy and so much more. We love when we keep God's commandments.

Life is not an acronym, abbreviation nor a proxy for anything. It is what it is, a gift from God, to be cherished, honoured and respected. Personal choice doesnt change that.

Obey is not an acronym, neither a proxy. It doesnt grant to any power nor position above God. It is something God granted us that we may walk in unity and covenant with HIM. It is a choice, and if we are wise we will choose to obey Him, just as obeying those in positions of authority can be wise in the world.

There are a billion things I could add, but wont. I guess you get my point. The word of God, the ways of God, the will of God, the determination of God is unchanging. Whether we change it or not, is irrelevant with HIM. If our understanding, beliefs, manner, actions, words, teaching and so on is not on target, it changes nothing about God. Today is the day to search and judge ourselves.

I would rather fall on the rock, which is the God of my salvation, to be broken and humbled, healed and raised up, than to have the rock fall on me unmerciless and eternal.

God says, James 4:3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts... Sad to say that this fits with many peoples perception of the phrase 'Help me Jesus'. I know it did mine. I pray this bring enlightenment and a blessing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIS5MG7xdpw

Make up your mind...

Im a country girl. Most of my life I have had animals of one kind or another. I have raised up orphans of many varieties and in that it is a good thing I live in a tiny country town. I hand raised calves, lambs, parrots, chickens, puppies and even piglets. I just love it, they are faithful, loyal and dont answer back. lol. We have had sheep, cows, horses, rabbits, guinea pigs, pigs, birds of many kinds, chooks, cats, dogs and fleas. What amazes me is when people put in a complaint when they do what they were created to do. When they are being all they know and are able to be, someone feels they need to speak out against it.

For instance I wanted to let you know that your dog was barking and I find it annoying, your sheep were bleating, your cow mooed, your birds squawked, your horse was heard running around, your cat was eyeing off a bird. I am like hello!!!!!!!! Maybe it would be better if the dog crowed, the horses flew, the cows barked and the birds eyed off the cat??? Its ok for a dog to look like a dog but dont let it bark. Its ok for a cow to give milk but dont let it moo. A cat can look like a cat but dont let it look at its lunch. Its ok for a bird to look pretty but dont let it bring forth its song. It has been suggested I just eat them and enjoy it, that way they will shut up.

You may think I am being sarcastic and in some respect I am. Yet I want to make a point. God said here is the man/woman of God. I have granted them wisdom and understanding, I have granted them a voice and I have raised them up to minister to those I send them to. And most the world is wahoooeeee that is wonderful. God said I created them, I nurtured them, I grew them, I am now sending them to you. Again the reaction is thank you Jesus.

O but the complaints when the preacher preaches the word in Spirit and in the Truth, not ear ticklin, when the prophet tells you what to get right and not just how wonderful you are, when the evangelist says time to be alive and real and do something, when the teacher says well your tradition is wrong, when the choir doesnt sing your favourite song or in your key, when the young woman questions what the older is doing because it is not bible, when the young man says why dont we do something different, when the child out praises and out prays the older folks, when the man of God says get right or get out, when the older woman says grow up and this is how.

Its ok for a man or woman to look the part, even to stand in the place they need to stand. But too many forbid that they should sound like they truly are of God, or truly are anointed or are living with and for Jesus as hard as they possibly can and doing all they know to do. Too many dont mind seeing it, so long as what they hear is just the right sound at the right time. Too many are too ready to destroy what they dont want to hear and dont care if the carrier of the message is destroyed with it.

Its time to grow up, to get up and do what needs done, to listen, hear and if you need to repent go on. If you dont need to, just go on. I was reminded this week that the phrase 'stand still' doesnt mean go backwards. Its amazing how many are happy in reverse. God is not about playing with you, its time to stop playing with God. It is almost impossible to live easy for God. O but how sweet, joyous and easy it is to live hard for God. Make up your mind which will it be.

The power of the spoken word...

I wanted to share with you my first video blog and I pray it bless you. I know I have been blessed in its creation.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=clCyaP03Twg

Jesus bless you richly.

I will trust in the Lord...

When I was young I lived in a small country town and loved it. However, when it came to high school, doctors or hospital visits it was in a town from between 20 minutes or more away. My mum lived a couple of hours from us and had to send things to us if she had them to give. My dad would have to travel to drop us off to mums and to pick us up. These things in and of themselves are not a problem, however in the midst of all of this I learned a habit that until yesterday I did not realise was still with me.

The problem was not in the distance, yet in the disappointments. We learned that when mum said she was sending us something, it could well mean she was desiring to, but it may or may not manifest. When I would be in hospital waiting for a visit, or waiting to be picked up, it more than likely would mean it would happen at the latest possible moment. If dad was dropping us of or picking us up there would inevitably be a delay of some time. Not deliberate on any of their parts, just was. In all of that I learned to listen to what was said, and then some time between the hearing and the receiving I would lose all confidence in those things being made manifest as spoken. I never stopped loving them through it, yet there was a distance because of it.

When I first met Jesus the Lord showed me some of the things that would come to pass in my life. He would grant me visions and dreams with understanding. I knew what I was called to do and to be. No questions asked, just full on believed. I then had some people that gave themselves the title of prophet speak things I just flat knew were not right and I became sceptical when most people spoke, knowing they lacked spirit. Then I became involved more and more with people I know to walk after the leading of the Lord, those that feel after the spirit and those I fully believe I can trust. As the past three years especially have progressed, time and again the same things would be spoken by people who do not in any way know each other. I praised God, rejoiced and thanked God for His promises in and for my life.

These things in and of themselves are not a problem. (I'm chuckling). I have found myself so many times sitting here bemoaning, whining, questioning, are these things really coming to pass, when will they, have I missed it, what if I was wrong, what have I dont wrong, have I messed all the plans up... yada yada yada yada yada. I have found my 'confidence' in the things spoken some days lacking. The world says 'well thats normal', we all go through that. Well yeh, we do. No matter how we sugar coat, butter up or dress it, lack of confidence is doubt, doubt is disbelief, disbelief is lack of trust. And that in and of itself is a huge problem.

I have let people down, our families, friends, neighbours, pastors, children, enemies and so on all at some time do things that they ought not, or do not the things they ought. It happens, and if it didnt Jesus returned and I missed it. We can choose to allow that to shape our thought process, action, conversations and convictions or we can choose to grow up get up and go on. One thing I KNOW that I KNOW, is that with God when HE speaks it, there is no let down. He need not repent, for He has never lied. Not one time, ever. The problem is not in that which is spoken, it lies in the expectation. We are used to instant gratification. Its time to lay this aside for trust, and for wisdom. God does know what He is doing. HalleluYah. I will trust in the Lord.

That place of harmony...

As a child I experienced my mother walking out when I was around nine years old. My dad worked two or three jobs just to make ends meet and see myself, my sister and brother with food and a roof over our heads. When he was done with his paid employment, we always had lawns to mow, cooking, cleaning and so on to be done. Seemed to me there was just too much for us to be a family. In the midst of this I watched my dad do his best to do things with us, we went camping and fishing and to the speedway. I loved it, and he did a good job spending as much time with us as possible. My mum would have us sometimes, and we would play tennis or go swimming. There was never a close bond between my parents and I. I grew up feeling so much was missing, and yet now looking back, I thank God for those years. My dad came to me and told me one day, he had so many regrets, that he spent so much time working to get what he thought we needed that by the time he got it, we were grown and gone. I didnt want that.

I aged, and had children of my own, I was determined never to be my parents. I was overwhelmingly determined never to let a chance go by when I was not with them doing something. What I noticed, especially as my children got older, is that I was so determined to spend every moment possible with them that other things were neglected. Things around home, arts and crafts, cooking, painting, time spent in the yard. I taught them to ride their bikes, the motor bike, steer the car, swim, skate, fish, camping, and going places most every week. I was so busy being with them and doing all I could with them that I neglected being a mum in other things which were necessary. I viewed the housework and maintaining the yard as a chore, a distraction. I did it as I had to, but things were not as they needed to be. I never realised that I could achieve a ballance. I never found that place of harmony.

I came to know Jesus and found myself repeating both ends of the spectrum. Some times I was so busy working at sharing, listening to preaching, and encouraging and praising and worshipping that I forgot to pray and read the word. I would spend hours and hours and hours just pouring out and filling up and pouring out and filling up and and and and. Then every now and then I would find myself so hungry for the presence and the intimacy, the quietness and the beauty of my own personal time with Jesus. I would get so busy doing I would forget to be.

Other times I would spend weeks, just praying and seeking God, so burdened and broken, pouring out and striving for all that it was possible to have, to know all I could know, to understand and gain the fullness of revelation. I would sit quietly and reflect. I would search myself and pour out, begging God to do all He needed to do that I would and could be totally His. I would spend days at a time with little or no sleep, desperate for more of God, for all of Him. I would find myself at a place where I felt blessed of the Lord but still empty and hollow and like so much was missing.

I needed, and still need to remember there is a ballance, there is both the ability and responsibility to do both. They go hand in hand. That it is ok to combine the two and also wise. That to do the one does not negate doing the other. I find when I struggle most with my flesh, is when I spend too much time doing and not enough being. I find when I struggle most with the intensity of burdens overwhelming is when I spend the biggest majority of my time isolated and not receiving, being fed or interacting with others.

While there is a ballance, it is not possible to set in concrete. Some weeks we need more quiet time with Jesus, others we need the interaction and business. It depends on the season, the situations your in, the emotional, mental and physical state your in. It also depends on what God is desiring from you and for you at any given time. It is possibe to learn to recognise which is what. It is possible to learn if your to be or to do or both. It is possible to be in that place of peace. To find sollace, all you need in that place of ballance. That place of harmony between the two.

Jesus bless you.

Grow what you can...

Living in Australia I had never considered the differences between here and the rest of the world. Did not really consider the differences in language, time, culture and seasons. When I began to talk with people from many different nations I came to realise just how monumental some of those differences were. Australia is second in the time zones just one hour behind New Zealand and from there, there are many hours difference to other parts of the world. Depending on the time of year, up to 17 hours between me and California. What is socially, environmentally and legally applicable in one place is not in others. We drive on the correct side of the road, in comparison to others that drive on the right side :).

And our seasons do not coincide with that of other nations. When it is Summer here, it is Winter elsewhere, or Spring or Autumn (that is Fall without an accent). What an incredible God to have worked it all out. I never realised that when it left here it went somewhere else. Each country is unique every hour of every day with where they are at. There are things that grow at one time of year here, that grow at an entirely different one somewhere else. There are things that grow and thrive in one season that will not in another. There are also those days between the new season in which a day may revert to the old season and take you by surprise, like planting your tomatoes and finding you have a late frost... bonvoyage tomato.

It is like that also with our individual walk with God. We find ourselves in different times, different stages, different levels of understanding, of healing of growth. We also find ourselves in different seasons. We know that there are seasons in all things, yet I for one had not considered that to be also in my walk with God. Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. I believe that to include our walk with God. I remember I first came to meet Jesus, was filled with the Holy Ghost, baptised in the name of Jesus and I was so fired up I would just pray for hours a day and sought preaching, that I could be fed. I then found added to that came a hunger to delve into the word of God. I would read and read and read. One day I realised I was not praying like I had been. I still sought the word through preaching, still read, but my prayer life had changed. I thought I had back slidden.

I pressed on, only to find at another time I was not seeking the preaching so much as I was studying the word. Hungry to have wisdom, knowledge, revelation and understanding. I would pray, and each time I tried to read I would get side tracked into study. Again I wept and repented for backsliding. I would pray like crazy and find I hardly read. I would read and read and find I did not study nor seem to be growing. And so on and so on. I would pour out to God repenting for backsliding.

One day I realised the same went with the battles I faced. I would find myself in a place of severe drought, of seemingly a stiff coldness from others, of everything being so sweet and growing rapidly or of being beat down so severely. I noticed I would come out of it, and it would be great, and yet reflecting back, realising I had seen these things before. I would repent of not learning or not listening. The circumstances were different, but the season was the same. It was in sharing with my pastor that I gained an understanding that in ALL things there is a season. Including in my walk and ways with Jesus.

The thing I learned was put succinctly by a Pastor friend just recently, 'pray in accordance with your season'. What I had to learn is what season I was in and pray in accordance with that season, be in accordance with that season. There is no point praying like it is winter in the midst of summer. That simply brings frustration at seemingly ineffective prayers, ministry, relationship. Pray and be with God appropriate to the season you are in. It lifts the frustrations, burdens, weight and feeling of total inadequacies and failure. It may not completely remove them, but goes a long way towards it.

I pray we all learn to know the seasons that we may be most fruitful in each one, I pray you are blessed and continue through the transitions between seasons with strength, joy, peace and confidence in the Lord. Jesus bless you richly.

Broken mind...

A few years ago I had xrays taken of my back. In the xray it was made known to me that my tailbone has been snapped in two places. I remember distinctly when this happened. First one was when jumping off the roof of our home. It was very high up and as dad was painting the house he had left the scaffolding up. My brother and I, while no adult was around, grabbed towels and jumped using them as parachutes. The second time was doing mandatory gymnastics at school in year 7. As I did a forward roll, I hurt my back so bad. From that day on I flat refused to do another roll. Absolutely convinced it would be detrimental.


After I smashed up my leg, doing martial arts. I broke my ankle and had a plate put on it to hold it together and ruined my knee, to where I was not sure I would walk again. I began at the gym. I also continued in martial arts training. I did super fantastic at it, but to my teachers frustration, I refused to do a roll. This was something that he said was absolutely necessary, compulsory and I would do. It was something I truly believed was 'impossible' for me to do. I studied under him for three years, trained and taught classes up to 8 times a week. I worked my way through the ranks to 'cho dan bo' which is the level just before black belt. That is when my instructor stood before me and said if you dont do a roll, you WILL NOT move on.

I stood for what seemed an eternity, and he stood patiently at my side, calmly waiting for me to overcome my mindset, my fears, my memories, my perceptions and to work out what it was that I wanted most. I got down, and he was right there to help me in whatever I needed. Again it seemed I was there forever. Finally, I took a deep breath and pushed off. I did a roll, then another, and another and another. Maybe not the most gracious or elegant. I did it. So many times over the years, the memory of that victory has blessed and emboldened me.

We are so like that with the things of yesterday and the things we are asked to do by Jesus. We have a mindset that speaks to the rest of us to yield to whatsoever takes our fancy. Sometimes we refuse to do things because vaguely we had, for one reason or another, decided we never would. We forget that our memories forget or add details over time. That we change, our bodies, our desires, our perceptions, our expectations and our circumstances. We often overlook healing and the absolute influence it has upon us. We underestimate our ability to overcome, to create change, and to embrace new possibilities and avenues.

I used to be the greatest control freak, overwhelmingly determined and refused to move an inch unless I wanted to. Mostly because circumstances taught me that to relinquish one little bit of control over emotion, over mind and to react would have meant to die. I met Jesus, he said trust me... I couldnt. He said let me be in control... I wouldnt. He said lose yourself in my presence... I darent. Very patiently, HE stood by my side, calmly waiting for me to overcome my mindsets, fears, memories, perceptions and to work out what I needed/wanted most. So I got down on my knees, and HE was right there to help me with everything I had need of. I ended up on my face. Bit by bit this past 8 years God has healed me and made me whole.

Too many times I hear people refusing to go to church, someone once hurt them so badly. Refusing to pray, God one time didnt answer and they were hurt and humiliated. Refusing to talk to 'Christians' because they were hurt by this fraud one time. Refusing to trust another especially about God because they were abused by a so called 'Christian'. Too many say NEVER again because of what was. Even those on the pews of the Apostolic/Pentecostal churchs, those that minister and those that pastor, none are exempt. Satan has encouraged a 'never again' mentality. It breeds heirachies, rebellion, division, discord, fear, confusion, contentions, doubts, jealousies, cliques, secrecy, lusts, coveteousness.... All because of a 'Used To Be', a 'Was' or a 'Has Been'. Even when God heals the heart, the soul, the spirit and the body... too many times the mind stays broken.

I sincerely pray you find the ability to receive a healed mind, that you may live a restored life...

Jesus bless you

Utilize the God given...

I was driving down the roads this week, and as often happens out here, I saw snakes crossing the road. As is also a custom out here, if you see it and you can, you run over it. Sometimes it has been known that if you run over one, that it may not come out the other end. There is the rare time they will spring up and get caught under the car. Never have I seen or known this to inhibit anyone from running over one. It is my perception that this is not just an australian thing. If they are crazy enough to be on the road, we are confident enough to run over them. We will hit them with shovels, sticks, chains, hoes and so on. We have no problem placing on them anything we can lay our hands on.

I despise snakes and the less I have to do with them the better. The reason I guess is guilt by association, as first association is with satan. They make my skin crawl and my stomach church. There still is an association between the two. The snake to crawl on their bellies forever and to be bruised under the womans heel. Satan to be under our feet.

We have no problem using man made things to run over the physical serpent. Yet when God said he gave us the power in the physical to ride roughshod over the spiritual serpents in our lives we run and duck for cover. When God said surely he sall be under your feet we walk so carefully to ensure he isnt there. We get a million others to check for us and do the hard yards and overcome their fears to do what we have been granted the power and authority to do.

Its easy to sound and act and do when in the midst of others at church, at prayer meeting, at bible study. Its easy when together with friends out and about. In the man made buildings where we go to praise God. In the man made protection and seeming power in numbers. In the presence of the man or woman of God that is our mentor or pastor or teacher and so on.

Too many want to pick up and run when its time to just put the foot down and declare the word, promises, proclamations, presence, praise, worhsip and prayer that truly they can do. Everyone says dont fear, and leaves the multitudes wondering how they can do that. Jesus gave the answer.... 'ONLY BELIEVE'.

Time to loose the man made and embrace the God given, you in relationship with HIM without fear and bold in standing, not running and not hiding..

Just like you...

When I used to hold my junior golf coaches accreditation I learned many tricks of the trade. Add to that my upper body strength and I could hit a mean golf ball. Without the pressure of playing a game, it was much easier to show what I could do. In the lessons, my good side was seen. When dealing with juniors and beginner adults I loved being able to teach them and watch them grow week by week. Every now and again I would find what were gifted golfers, those that everything seemed to be picked up easily and with finesse. I would also find those that had to struggle for every little skill and their powers to retain these things seemed limited. The naturally tallented seemed to have no desire to compare themselves to many others, just determined to improve to better themselves each time we met.


The problems arose more in those that struggled, and where I found myself most challenged. They were the ones that were constantly looking at what they were doing and comparing it to what someone else was. Each week they would highlight the inadequacies, the faults and failures with their own game. What it did was brought about a desire to fade into the background and not even try, especially if another might see them. What I heard when they thought no one was listening was 'I will never be as good as, as skilled as they are', 'I will never get this right and certainly wont attaint unto the levels that you can', 'If I cant do it good enough and I wont be perfect like everyone else why bother'. To which I would teach them, 'We all do things the way we do, and we are all unique and have our own gifts as well as our own faults, even if you do see them. Everyone messes up some time. Everyone has a bad shot occasionally. So enjoy where your at, learn, grow and continue. Only then can you be the best you can be.' Many many times it was the strugglers that had the staying power and the breezers that stopped playing.


I see this time and time again, in the churches, the very same mentalities and process. Those that have been there a while, when not in a place of duress. Those that have learned how to get it on when the Holy Ghost is moving. Those that know how to act, and sound and be that they can get the best out of God. And I praise God for them. And then those new babes, the beginers looking at them with awe, and realising their own inadequacies in their walk. Every church knows those that come in, embrace the message, embrace the ways and just seem to fly through. Those that seem to find a niche and take things in their stride, practice at home, and have faith in what they were doing and what they could do.

Every church has the midstream, those that stick it out, but occassionally miss hit, falter and totally mess up. And I believe every church has those that can only see how hopeless it is, and what a waste of time it is for them to even be there. Those that struggle week in and week out. Those that can only see how 'perfect' everyone else is and how useless and pathetic they are. The ones who seem unable to bypass their own negative thinking and embrace the certainty of failure. Those that desire to quit, to give up and to hide, not only from those around them, but from themselves and from God.

I want to encourage you, if you know someone like this that it is possible, if you have the time, patience, heart and prayer time to bring them through and see them achieve depths and consistencies others may never reach. It is possible to embrace them, and teach them a new way to see things and give them a hope, a reason to continue. Each interaction is a chance to search yourself and your ways and attitude, in order that you can offer the best for them. There are so many personalities and so many different skills, gifts as there are perceptions and understandings. There are also some times when you just need to let them go.

I pray God grant you the wisdom to know what to do and say, when to hold fast and when to let go. I pray HE grant you the boldness to do all you need to do and the peace to know when you have, it is ok. I pray God bless you and keep you. That you embrace Jesus to enjoy where your at, learn, grow and continue. That no matter how long you have been seeking God that you find all you need in order to be all you were created and called to be. To the gory of God and to the labour of the harvest.

It could be a booger...

I drove the school bus this morning which I love to do. About 5 minutes into the drive I heard a sniffle, followed by another, and another........... and another and so on. To my enquiry 'who has the sniffles?' I received a resounding 'NO ONE', not once but twice. I KNOW I heard it because my ears heard it, and my agitation meter went up a notch. lol. After another 7 or 8 minutes I asked again, and was told who it was. I said 'Are you ok baby girl?'... 'Yes' sniffle, sniffle, sniffle. So rather than beat round the bush I flat asked 'Do you need a tissue baby girl?' to which I got a resounding, most offended and abrupt 'I DO NOT!'. sniffle, sniffle. Then the gem, starting at the elbow, sluuuuuuuuuurp all the way to the end of the wrist, with a nice shiny trail to see why she no longer has the sniffles.

Many times those around us see or hear things in or from us that we don't always take notice of. You know when the Pastor stands up and says 'If your struggling with your thinking today and finding it hard to focus on the right, the good and the holy things raise your hand unto the Lord, love on Him and get your focus back on track', and you look around to see who has let their walk and their faith slip some. When God shows him who it is and he says again these things, still your looking. So he comes to you and says 'Do you want me to pray for you?' and your like, 'Did he just fall on his head??????' I want to remind you, God gave us a shepherd, a watchman, a person to care and lead and guide for a reason. We have Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists, Pastors and Teachers, we also have each other. Sometimes its so others may think, or even be aware what is going on for you in the spiritual, and he wants to keep it there and no further. Sadly many of us dont want to admit to the extent of the struggle until there is a visible streak left behind for all the world to see.

Ephesians 6:18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

Psalms 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: :24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting

Somethings are not for you...

I have a thing about frogs. Some dont like them but I know there are plenty that do. It is incredible to see the magnificent creation which I fear even the greatest imagination could not have dreamed up. Some are the most vivid and magnificent colours, catching the eye easily of those that behold them, and often the imagination of many an artist. Whilst some of the most vibrant in colour are quite small, they are also quite deadly, posessing a poison which means an end to the life of their predators. Only three are known to be deadly to people, however the others will still mess with the health of those that play with them. Just because it appears good, doesnt make it a good thing.

I look around at the magnificent creation God has granted us in our relationship with HIM. Finding in that the most incredible and amazing things that I know not even the greatest imagination and workings of the human hand, mind and resources could have conjoured up. I also look at the things we embrace in the world and from those around us, from our imaginations and desires, from our perceptions and impressions. Many times taking a hold of some of the most careful of saints, of the most guarded hearts, of the most secure of minds. Not everything is a sin or wrong entirely, but may be wrong either for that person, or for that time. It takes wisdom, caution and seeking God.

These things dont need to be big things, quite often the most simple that take root and stay long enough running the corridors of minds until they bear fruit. Until they become the things spoken, that satisfy and that fill us. Until they become the things which bring an increase in our lives. Depending on what they are, as to whether or not they bring forth life or death. They are the things which feed our faith and which become the substance of our hopes and the evidence given to those around us. People hear. There is a reason that the things we speak need to be of God, His word, His ways, His desire for our lives. It is these that feed our faith.

Proverbs 18:20 A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled. :21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

I pray you find those things in your life, for yourself. Day by day, healed a little more, a little more whole, a little more the beauty of God's creation in all your splendour and all your uniqueness. Day by day a little more you, knowing who you are in God, and who He is in you.

Chicken soup...

Being a country girl there are some things I understand. I know when your starvin fresh is best. I know things like milk comes from a cow, you squeeze the teet and whala you have milk. Its a little different to getting eggs. If you take a chook (chicken without an accent), and squeeze it you will not get an egg. If you go every 5 minutes, most chooks will not go to nest to lay. If you stress them it can be days. If you cut open a chook, you will not find an egg. I know which side of the chicken has the most feathers, that would be the outside. If you worry that hen and turn it round about and upside down often enough you may turn it inside out, which would for one be not productive and two not pretty. In the off season you have no idea how long you will have to wait. They are not fickle, just doing what needs done. Just let it be, sit back, relax and know that the egg will come in its time. A chook that lays gives the ability to make so much. One that wont lay is only good to make chicken soup.

So many times our understanding gets a little fuzzy when we are waiting on the promises of God to be made manifest. When we are starving for the move, manifestation, fulfilling that comes from the presence of God. Too often we find ourselves praying with faith believing, only to go back and pray the same request again and again and again. We analyse situations, needs, God, His word, His ways, His promises, His delays. Questioning time and again, getting into doubt and uncertainties, letting worry cause us to continue to worry and disect our faith and our sanity. Too often sabotage Gods productivity in our own lives, and we cause the delays in the delivery of Gods promises to us. Its time to recognise anew the seasonality even in our relationship and things of God, to remember to be still, and know that HE truly is GOD. God is not fickly, nor forgetful, just doing what needs done. I would rather we have blessings and experiences bountiful in so many ways and places on the journey and process of receiving His promise than sacrifice in our impatience.

Numbers 23:19 God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?

Bring whatever you find...

I have a little dog, she stands about a foot tall (give or take an inch or two), she is black and faithful and loyal and lovable. This precious dog has become a cleptomaniac. Yup she will find whatever she can, where ever she can and brings it home to give to my nephews 8 month old pup who is now huge (great dane cross staffy) and who is tied up at night. She jumps the side fence, to go and has to drag the 'gifts' over the fence to come home, and sometimes I know it is far from easy for her to do. She manages this some time between when she is fed at night and when its time for bed as she sleeps inside. So far we have received two crocks (rubber shoes), an ug boot, three fluffy toys, a doll, a sword, three balls and today a toy camera. Embarrassing because by the time we find them they usually completely worked over but sometimes we get them in like condition as they were given. It is out of her desire to please I believe she does it, admirable but not condonable. :D I know he enjoys her diligence.

If only we had the same desire, determination and drive to bring to God all that we could find to bring, our problems, our praise, our worship, our thanksgiving, our bodies, our neighbours, friends, family, strangers, our all and let God just work them over, and bless us with the finished product of His hand. If only we would bring them to Him in the dark hours as much as in the light. If we would do all that is necessary, even when it is not easy some times. If we would not hold back and be selfless in our giving unto Him not expecting them to be unchanged. Sometimes we do get things back as we gave, sometimes we dont. Praise God that He is faithful to give us the best as we are faithful to give God our all. How about we wait patiently, seeking God, to see what He might bring to us as we are open to receive from Him. Matthew 7:11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Inclusive not exclusive...

I had been seeking a job for years, one where I would be able to help with the needs of the household. Many of you know what it is like when you can barely find an end let alone make two ends meet. By the grace of God for five weeks I had a job, and it was a blessing. I was able to provide for my household in ways I had not done in a long time. Bless God. What I noticed now I am not working, is that things around the home in some areas were neglected. We did not achieve all that was needed done. So now Im washing the extra clothes that were not the 'essentials', and dusting and pulling weeds that have got amazingly big since I last took notice of them. It is amazing what we can overlook and think nothing of it.

In our relationship with God many tend to do the same thing. I know I have. Up most the night and half the day sharing Jesus with people that I stopped, looked around and found that my reading time in God's word had diminished, my devotion time had been overlooked. I praise God that I was able to pray, encourage, share and so on.

James 1:22 'But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only...' Therefore the same can be said of this 'But be ye hearers of the word, and not doers only'. Remember there is a ballance, if your not hearing or reading its easy to loose the ballance/reality and Godly perspective of what your doing.

Enjoy JESUS in ALL He is.

Me

Finally a new beginning

Tonight I have taken the first step in doing what I have been feeling to do for quite a while now. Share the things that come to me from time to time. It took me two days to find a 'title' for the blog, tonight I decided to just get it done. I pray somewhere in the posts that follow on from here that you find a blessing.

I pray to speak the things God blesses me with in Spirit and in Truth. Unto Jesus be all glory, honour and praise.

Thanks be to God.

Me